I stumbled onto this picture and just felt that I had to share it. Yep that’s Michael Jackson and his three kids watching a Nathan Burton magic show in Vegas. Wouldn’t it have been cool if Burton came out and just made Michael disappear; forever… and ever… What a nut …
Don’t Be An Ass
I was at my daily coffee stop today when my blissful routine was disturbed by a disgruntled customer. From the corner of my eye I could see him angrily walk up to one of the counter girls asking who the manger was. The fact that he had to ask twice …
D.C. Sniper Asks To Drop All Appeals
The D.C. Sniper John Allen Muhammad has sent a letter to the Virginia prosecutors office asking them to end his legal appeals. If granted this could fast-track Muhammad to the death chamber. Muhammad was sentenced to death in 2003. He and his accomplice are responsible for 10 innocent lives lost. …
Master Chief is Crying… Red Ring of Death
What a sad, sad, sad day! It’s a lazy rainy Sunday; I sit down to play some Halo 3 on Xbox Live. I party up for the first game of Slayer and then the screen freezes. I thought it was just another case of network lag. I was wrong. So …
OMG – What A Day!
This week has been total crap… At least tomorrow is Sushi day.
The Most Useless Infomercial Product Of All Time
You’ve got to be kidding me! I love those late night infomercials. I recently saw one for a product called the JumpSnap. The JumpSnap is a jump rope with no rope… Yep no rope, and it costs sixty bucks. A jump rope for the complete idiot. What’s that; your too …
Dye The Poodle and Die
What a crazy world we live in. Thank goodness for all the great laws that keep us dumb citizens in check. One law I have particularly grown fond of is a Colorado law that states “No person shall dye or color live fowl, rabbits, or any other animals.”. What? Okay …
Im Going To Be Late For Work On Monday
Oh Lord… It’s time to spring forward already. Do you know how hard it is for me to drag myself out of bed on Mondays? Let’s move daylight savings time to Wednesday. Better yet- let’s just not spring forward at all! How about we get another hour backwards? D.S.T. you …
Bahama Shark Diving Gets Too Chummy
I’ve been waiting for this to happen for some time now. Unfortunately someone had to die before the red flags went up. A tourist from Austria was killed by a shark Monday approximately 50 miles off the coast of Fort Lauderdale. He was killed in chum filled water by a …
Time To Get Your Truck Neutered
Well friends, our wonderful Virginia legislature is at it again. No- they are not still pushing to outlaw underwear showing individuals in baggy pants. They have moved onto much more important issues. Delegate Lionel Spurill has introduced legislation to ban masculine genitalia dangling (aka: “Truck Nuts”) on vehicles since they …
Get Out – Evil Plague
Evil cold and flu- get out of me… Coughing, sneezing and all the wonderful tortures that you bring can vacate my body ASAP. You suck my energy dry, and plague me with sleepless nights. If you continue to intrude on the wife and I’s slumber I fear she will end …
Vick Sentenced to 23 Months
Well I guess this could be considered a small victory for all the dogs who suffered at this jerks hand. Twenty-three months isn’t enough as far as I’m concerned. I hope his jail time and financial losses take every possible luxury away from him. Hopefully the NFL will never take …
Let It Snow
Old Man Winter graced us with some snow today. We got about two inches in and around the DC area. Those of us in the burbs got a little more. It was really nice to go Christmas shopping today. Had the holiday music on in the background and everyone was …
Shark Fishing In A Kayak Anyone?
Some brave stupid fishermen have set a world record by fishing for sharks with nothing more than rods and kayaks. The fishermen paddled through freezing shark-filled waters in Alaska to set the record. The four individuals part of the American Ocean Kayak Fishing Team fished for salmon sharks that average …
MD Public Schools try to Cancel Halloween Celebrations
This really chaps my cheeks! Our neighbors in Maryland tried to get rid of Halloween parties in their county schools. What the hell? Are you serious… Luckily Councilman Ed Middlebrooks (Annapolis, MD) proposed a resolution asking schools to allow students to have a “small but enjoyable diversion from the academic …
An Ode to OJ
Yet another scuffle with the law, Why didn’t you just fade into the night, Will you finally take the fall, Does the ski mask fit, How about that audio tape, Hopefully this time there’s no room to acquit, The evidence is piling up against you, Still you parade around smiling, …
Dear Michael Vick,
I hope they lock your sorry ass up for a long time! You and your dog fighting cohorts are among the lowest form of trash on our lovely planet. I hope the NFL fines you, and prohibits you from ever playing professional football again. I hope this ignorant little venture …
“Live passionately” Update
Well, I guess I wasn’t the only one who noticed something wrong with the new campaign imagery. State official have decided to ”alter” the campaign. A statement released from Alisa Bailey, President and CEO of Virginia Tourism Corporation states: ”We have decided to adjust the new Virginia is for Lovers …
“Live Passionately” – Don’t Throw Gang Signs!
Have you seen the new ”Live passionately” adds in Virginia? The new slogan created by The Virginia Tourism Corp is to be used in tandem with the 1969 slogan ”Virginia is for lovers”. Virginia Beach tourism officials started pushing its new slogan Wednesday. At Neptune’s Park in Virginia Beach the …
Gordon Boots the Short Order Chef – 3 Losers Remain
Bummer! I was really hoping that Julia would make it to the final two or at least the final three. Although she had a great personality and some decent skills she truly is to green to run a resort kitchen. I was really impressed with Chef Ramsey’s offer to send …
Cents and Sensibility – It’s Not Easy Being Green!
San Francisco says no more bottled water and Maryland says no more plastic bags. Coast to coast the “Green” theme is here to stay. What started as an ideology years ago, the going green craze is making an impact. I can remember when stores first introduced plastic bags. Chain stores …
Celebrity Injustice
Yet another case of rich people doing whatever they want. Paris Hilton’s jail sentence has been cut in half because of her “good behavior”. It was explained that her good behavior consisted of multiple factors including showing up for her court date. Your kidding me right? Her 23 day stay …
Second Life – Are You Kidding Me?
There is an internet craze that is growing at an enormous rate. Second Life is an online imaginary world where you (the real you) can assume any identity your little heart desires. ”What is Second Life? – Second Life is a 3-D virtual world entirely built and owned by its …
Political Correctness Defined
Following is the winning entry from an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year’s term: Political Correctness. ”Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that …
Dear Mr. N.Y. Mugger
You know who you are. And one day the world will know who you are also. Did you enjoy beating that 101 and 85-year-old woman? What the heck were you thinking? What did you buy with twenty bucks you got from them? Was it worth it? I hope that the …