Why I’m Never Going to Australia

The image below is the proverbial nail in the coffin as far as a trip to Australia for me. That place is freakin crazy! Everything is poisonous and everything is trying to eat something else.

Case in point… The photo below is a freakin spider eating a freakin snake while hanging from a freakin tree. Do you see my freakin point yet? I’m not going anywhere where the freakin spiders are freakin big enough to eat a freakin snake!

“It’s only natural: Cairns man Ant Hadleigh snapped this golden orb spider attempting to eat a brown tree snake in a Freshwater backyard.”

Mr Hadleigh estimated the tree snake to be around half a metre long and was alive for “an hour or more” after being caught in the spider’s web, before finally succumbing to the crafty arachnid’s venom.”

Nope- not going to happen. I’ll keep my happy ass here in the states where the only things trying to kill you are the nut jobs in the car next to you during rush-hour.

News Story

PS – Koala Bears are not cute and friendly either. Try it; just try it.