TO: All Employees
FROM: Communications Services
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality
work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees
well-trained though our Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We
are giving our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other office in town.
If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your supervisor. You will be placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list for special attention.
All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get
all the S.H.I.T. you can handle at your own speed.
If you think that you have a thorough understanding of the basic
S.H.I.T. program, you may wish to participate in Management Of Related
Education (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).
If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be
interested in helping us train others. We can add you to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
Some of you already display aptitudes that would easily allow you to
enter the Director of Intensity Program (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who
do not qualify for this position but are still interested will
certainly be referred to the Director Under Management Bureau
(D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.). Those individuals who do not meet the
requirements of The Bureau must first complete Special Training Under
Personal Individual Discretion, Special High Intensity Training
(S.T.U.P.I.D. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any further questions, please address them to our Head Of
Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.) program.
Thank You.
Boss in General
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)
Copy to: Complete Registered Organized Computerized Knowledge
Originating Firsthand; Special High Intensity Training division.
(CROCK-OF-SHIT)